Super Friends
by thom1170
Summary: Basically a sitcom parody. Peter Parker just wants to have some good luck. Johnny storm wants to have fun. Bobby Drake wants to figure himself out. Wade Wilson...just sort of pops in and steals peter's food.


**I've been watching a lot of tv lately. I don't really have a reason for doing this, but i think its fun.**

Everyones favorite mercenary pushed an apartment's door open and skidded through the doorway.

 ***applause* *whistles***

"Hey webs! Got any beer?!"

Deadpool walked to the fridge near the door and grabbed a beer. When he looked up, he was greeted to the sight of laura kinney laying on top of peter parker on the couch, both frozen in surprise.

 ***oooo~***

Deadpool slowly took a sip of beer, somehow through his mask, and spit it out in shock. "No fucking way, wolverine's daughter? Oh you are so screwed."

Peter and laura hurridely got up. laura scowled and peter looked at wade pleadingly. "Wade, please don't tell anyone, logan **can not** find out about this."

Wade gave a stern masked stare. "On one condition."

"Name it."

Deadpool raised his fist. "Bump that shit, cause you got some serious cojones."

 ***laughing***

Laura didnt look happy at the props he was getting and peter looked between the two. He felt a drop of sweat on his forehead as he was stuck in indecision.

Suddenly Bobby Drake came in through the unlocked door and strutted up to the kitchen counter.

 ***applause***

"Guess who has a date, with kitty pryde." He asked rhetorically.

They all shrugged and said. "Anyone named peter."

 ***laughing***

Bobby's shoulders dropped. "No, **I** have a date with kitty pryde."

"Really?" Peter asked as he sat on a chair near the counter. "Aren't you gay...not that there's anything wrong with that."

He looked startled. "What?! I **am not** gay...not that there's anything wrong with that."

Laura stole wade's beer as she sat on peter's lap and spoke. "There are several rumors that say otherwise... not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Well, their not true. And since when are you two a thing? Logan's gonna be pissed."

 _SNIKT_

"Are you going to say anything?" She asked with a growl.

"No." He squeaked out.

 ***laughing***

"Good." She said and leaned into peter and he wrapped his arms around her.

Johnny Storm burst in excitedly. "Guys, guess what!"

 ***applause***

He looked at peter and laura. "Since when are you-"

 _SNIKT_

"Nevermind. Anyway, I just bought a bar!" He exclaimed.

Deadpool immeditely went up to him. "Can i be a bartender? I have my own rag and everything."

He took out a dirty sock. Johnny waved it away. "Fine, I was actually hoping we could all work it."

"I'm in." Bobby said.

"Sorry, but I'm busy teaching." Peter told them.

"Duuuude, you have a chance to work a bar and you would rather hang around a bunch of brats?" Johnny asked.

"Hey! Their good kids and I love my students." Peter defended.

"Better not say that in front of a PTA. I swear, just cause I always have candy doesnt mean-" Wade started but johnny cut him off.

"Whatever wade. Come on bro, we'll be the best spot in new york."

"No can do, johnny."

"Ugh, fine. What about you laura?" He asked.

"I don't serve, i drink." She answered.

She got up and grabbed her jacket. "I have to go. Jubilee asked me to come by."

Peter nodded and she left. Bobby spoke. "So, how did that happen?"

He shrugged. "I was out doing my spidey thing and ran into her. One thing led to another, and she stuck around for the rest of my patrol. We've been hanging out since and it just sort of happened."

"Also bobby has a date with kitty." Wade informed.

Jonny turned to him quizzically. "Doesn't she only date peters? And aren't you gay...not that there's anything wrong with that."

 ***laughing***

Bobby scowled. "No and no."

 ** _Later_**

Bobby, Wade, and Johnny stood inside a heavily damaged and littered building. Johnny clapped his hands excitedly.

"I'm telling you, once we get this place running, picking up girls is gonna be easy. No taking them home or buying them drinks, we'll cut out the middle man and **own** the bar."

"Its almost **too** perfect." Wade said in awe.

 ***laughing***

Bobby looked skeptical. "Are you sure we can do this ourselves? Pete is the one with super strength, and web glue...and brains, I admit."

Johnny waved dismissively. "Ah who needs 'em. Let him hang around those high school brats."

"And if we need him, we can just threaten to tell ol' wolvie about him and wolverette." Wade suggested.

"What he said." Johnny confirmed.

 ***laughing***

They stood in silence and surveyed the mess. Johnny sighed. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

 ** _Midtown High_**

Peter set a pile of papers down at the corner of his teacher's desk and turned as his door opened. Anya Corazon and Miles Morales walked in.

 ***applause***

"Hey kids. Aren't you a bit early? Class won't start for another five minutes." Peter told them.

"We just wanted to get here early for our favorite teacher." Anya said with a blush.

Miles snickered at her having a crush on the teacher, and she elbowed him hard on the ribs.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

Peter laughed. "Settle down, kids. Take a seat and I'll give you some extra notes for being so punctual."

"Speaking of punctual." Sajani Jaffrey said as she walked in.

 ***applause***

She crossed her arms. "I see mister 'I'm too good to be anywhere on time' actually got here."

Peter rested his hands on his hips and sighed. "Well, i had a bad case of the hiccups and i was hoping your grumpy face would scare them away. Hey! it worked!"

 ***laughing***

She scowled. "I really hope you **didn't** come here for my face. Because your fly is down genius."

 ***laughing***

He scrambled to zip it. Miles laughed as anya went atomic red.

Peter walked up and put an arm around sajani's shoulder. "Saj, buddy, pal, sister from another mister. GET OUT!"

She scoffed and grumbled about being too smart to be a teacher with clowns, as she left.

 _RING!_

He straightened out his suit as students began pouring in.

 ** _With Laura_**

Laura unlocked her sister figure's door and went in. "Jubilee?"

Jubilee came out of a short hallway near the apartment's living room and smiled at her arrival.

 ***applause***

"Hey, laura." She greeted

 ***gasp***

Before laura could answer, logan came through the hallway. "Oh shit."

Logan looked confused at her reaction, but that changed when he caught her scent.

 _SNIKT_

"He's dead!"

"Dad no!"

 ** _Midtown High_**

Peter was writing on the board when the door burst open. "Parker!"

He saw logan and immediately jumped out of a nearby window. Logan jumped after him.

"No! Mister parker!" Anya cried as she went to save him.

"Anya don't." Miles tried and went after her.

Laura ran by as well. "Why do you always do this?!"

 ***laughing***

Peter ran as fast as he could, without revealing his secret. "I swear, I only have her best interests at heart!"

"Then it won't matter when I cut off your web shooters!"

 ***laughing***

 **At The Bar**

Johnny smiled at his friends. "Good news, boys. I called backup."

They heard the doors open and Susan Storm stood there arms crossed.

 ***applause* *whistles***

"Really, johnny? What do you even know about running a bar?" She asked.

He shrugged. "You buy beer...and you sell it again?"

 ***laughing***

She sighed and began using her powers to clean the place up. Johnny smirked triumphantly. "See? Who needs parker."

Susan suddenly dropped everything and looked on the verge of tears. "Peter?"

Johnny groaned and bobby looked confused. Wade leaned in and whispered. "They dated before she met reed. She never really got over it though."

 ***aww***

Johnny patted her shoulder. "You know what works when your feeling down? Helping family open their bar."

 ***laughing***

She glared and made to leave, but peter himself burst in and blocked the door. She gasped. "Peter?"

He looked at her in surprise. "Sue?"

A pair of claws stabbed through the door, right beside his head. He jumped away as logan charged through.

Peter backed away as logan walked towards him. "Come on, logan. I would never hurt her."

Logan scoffed. "Your reputation says otherwise."

"When have I ever done something like that?"

Logan pointed at susan. She sniffed a little.

 ***laughing***

Peter blinked. "That was complicated. Look, I don't want to hurt laura. She and I, we connect in ways I have never felt. I like being with her, because she gives me strength I didn't know i had."

 ***aww***

Logan sighed. "Just don't lay a finger on her."

"I won't." Peter assured.

 ** _Later That Day_**

Peter and laura lay disheveled and out of breath on his bed

 ***laughing***

She leaned into him. "Did you mean what you said?"

"Every word." He told her and held her closer.

Laura allowed herself to smile. "Good...cause I'd kill you otherwise."

 ***laughing***

He gulped. "Y-your k-kidding right?"

She didn't answer, only snuggled further into his chest and peter laughed nervously.


End file.
